I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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