is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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