i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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