that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
