Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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