He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
