y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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