You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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