I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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