Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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