when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
