ugly people sure do ruin things
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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