physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
