is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
