vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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