Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize