Quick, to the slutcave!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
