Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Can you bring me the toilet please
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
