What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize