not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize