so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
