I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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