Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He better not be in your backpack
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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