Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
