He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
