I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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