oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize