WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
