dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
