I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
