Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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