I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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