How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
