If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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