I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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