similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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