Fine. I'll sleep in my office
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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