Sponge bath it is.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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