Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
