I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
