Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
