i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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