I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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