better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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