And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
