all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We just shotgunned beers for America
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
