Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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