LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
