Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize