You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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