i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
