Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
