I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
