We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
