my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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