Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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