What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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