She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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