My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
