I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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