I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
