i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
