I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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