kristin has been a bad kristin
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
