I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
