Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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