Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
