ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize