If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
