Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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