Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
worst night to have a conscience
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
